Series of Lies #2: set you free

lie
Show Spelled [lahy] Show IPA noun, verb, lied, ly•ing.
–noun
a false statement made with deliberate intent to deceive; an intentional untruth; a falsehood.
–verb (used without object)
to express what is false; convey a false impression.
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What is a lie? Does anyone ever stop to think about what exactly it means before they open their mouths and let the words slip? Maybe if we did we wouldn't do it so often. Everybody lies. Sometimes it's to save face, yours or theirs. Sometimes it's to avoid hurting feelings or to protect. Many times it's just to avoid punishment or a fight. It may be that your intentions are good, they may even be pure (if that's possible when considering lying which in and of itself seems very impure).

Thinking about how many times you've been lied or how many times you've lied to is an impossible task. Some people are so good at deceiving you that you'll never know it. Many lies that you've been told or have told yourself are harmless. And, no one is the wiser. Some may even say that lies are a necessary evil: something we have to do in order to protect the ones we love. Would our society be better off without lies? Who can say.

The worst lie anyone can ever tell, I think, is a lie that deals with matters of the heart. You may think that you're protecting the one you love, but in reality, when the lie is discovered, and more often than not it is, the breach of trust in the relationship can be irreparable. The hurt is magnified hundreds of times more than if you would've just been upfront about it. The worst lie I was ever told was a three and half year long relationship. In its entirety. Every moment but for the first few months was a lie. Unspeakable things occurred during the relationship that rocked the very foundation of my being. And because of all the lies it was impossible to sort out the truths and it was impossible to escape. I can't even recall everything that happened, mostly because I've refused to remember. It's easier that way. All I know is that one day I woke up and realized that it was no longer worth trying to sift through the lies to find the truths, and walked away for good.

The worst lie I ever told was that I loved someone I really didn't. It wasn't just a lie I told him, it was a lie I told myself. The worst part was, that by that time I was so hardened, it didn't even bother me, but it does now. I'm sorry that I lied to him, but I don't think he ever knew it. He ended the relationship and I knew I had been lying the whole time because I wasn't even sad when it was over; I was relieved. I feel guilty now for feeling that way, and because every now and then he calls or messages me and I have no interest in talking to him. Knowing that he still thinks about me, because he did love me, makes me feel guilty. I don't know if it's just because I lied to him about loving him, or if I would feel guilty or badly regardless.

When it comes to love, lying is probably the worst thing you can do. The kinds of lies involved in a relationship are typically the worst kind that inflict the most hurt when they are discovered. If you truly love someone: be honest. What might sting a little at first is sure to cause a gaping wound if left to fester in untruth. Be kind to the ones you love, and as the old saying goes:

the truth will set you free.

-the beloved Kara