the arrested fuck-all mindset grooved to and belied, it's like, yes you hate me but as tina fey says bitches get stuff done: it's a knife ready to enter the eyes for a longer than 9 second stare, it's laws that make us feel touched when we aren't and prevent murder in the long run, these are aspects we worry about. every day feels long but the years appear short, I forget to chronicle what it is I, a minute dust particle go through, the courses I avoid and subsequently the lives I neglect as each second passes. living is constantly not choosing something else. pain of the body is a short memory unless you are scarred then it's a story you can't forget. you add details to make it better, more like a dream narrative. if you were valued you'd be blue with gospel-blossom and a faithful smile with interruptions perhaps of your anger. but you float in between and refuse to see futures and you have episodes memorized that most people don't ever see. hear, let me listen to this, watch this, just in case: a human connection based on reference skill, not interaction, the farther apart the humans from your space the safer you are, you can't forget. you shouldn't forget. every one is an exploding drum.
